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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26841109">the day the clown died.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatsnape/pseuds/fatsnape'>fatsnape</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, DCU, DCU (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood and Injury, Character Death, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, heavy descriptions of blood and deaths, okay maybe a little comfort but eh, the joker just lost his soulmate guys give him a damn minutes, trigger warning for those triggered by murder / possible self inflicted death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:54:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,436</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26841109</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatsnape/pseuds/fatsnape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>TRIGGER WARNING : </p><p>heavy description of blood, death, and possible self inflicted death. depends on which version you read.</p><p>the worst punch-line yet.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jim Gordon &amp; Bruce Wayne, Joker (DCU) &amp; Bruce Wayne, Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. there's no joke without the punch-line.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this honestly just randomly came to me while watching some random show. but, i love me some angst. so enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>perhaps it was fate. perhaps it was always destined to end like this. it was set in stone from the moment their gazes connected. he should've seen it coming. he should've prepared more. but perhaps he had foolish hope, that he'd never felt the need to acknowledge.</p><p>but now, as blood gushed into his hands, and the man he never thought he could break was trembling before his eyes, he realised just how short-sighted he truly became.</p><p>his eyes connected with the man in front of him, and a rush of panic took over him. he was torn between trying to find a way to save the man, and simply staying beside him as he passed. he decidedly chose the latter, only to be yanked back to the bat's side.</p><p>his eyes widened in response. he might've not been the best medic, but he could at least attempt. he did his best to struggle out of the other man's grip, but it seemed that there was no use. he chose to wrap his arms around his torso instead, sharp sobs muffled by his armour.</p><p>this wasn't supposed to happen, not at all. it was all a joke. it had to be. an awful, cruel joke. he thought of painting a self portrait with the blood of whoever created this sick punch-line. instead, he only sobbed harder at the thought, his chest burning in response. his knife had simply slipped out of his grip, landing itself too deep inside the man. and now he was, dying in his arms. fuck comedy.</p><p>he picked his head up when he noticed the man before him struggling with his cowl. he'd only hesitated for a second before doing his best to help the bat, which proved more difficult than he would've liked with his trembling hands.</p><p>the cowl came off with a simple click, revealing the bat behind the mask. the clown offered no shock, instead placing a hand upon the man's cheek, caressing it to the best of his ability. his identity was no shocker to the clown, as he'd known for a while.</p><p>it was quite obvious, when it came down to it. to him, at least. perhaps the idea of bruce wayne in a bat costume just wasn't believe-able enough for some people. he didn't blame them. perhaps the clown would crash wayne enterprises business meetings more often, if so.</p><p>he was knocked out of his train of thought as the man before him took in a pained gasp. all of his panic returned just as quickly. and he began muttering words to himself once again. this was it. he was leaving him, once and for all. their game of cat and mouse was coming to a close. but he didn't want to be the winner. if winning meant losing the love of his life, he'd lose everyday for him.</p><p>a trembling hand tightly clung to his, and once again he looked up to find bruce giving him a reassuring smile. for once, he truly felt that he had the bat all to himself. it was just the two of them. but at what cost, truly?</p><p> </p><p>                 ”  d—darling. this isn't how this is going to end. you're not allowed to die, got it? you can't leave me, you can't— you can't.     ”</p><p> </p><p>the clown panted heavily, his only source of comfort being the palm rubbing against his own. he shook with a mixture of painful sobs and laughs.</p><p>           ” you can't leave me, not now. we were going to do such great things! i'm nothing without you. you can't leave me... ”</p><p> </p><p>he cried, mostly to himself. he didn't expect a response. truth be told, he didn't want one. the clown only clung to his large frame tighter. it only took the feeling of a rough hand caressing his head, and running fingers through his hair for the clown to completely shut down.</p><p>the joker rushed towards the man, clearly catching him off guard as he placed a forceful, emotional kiss on his lips. it was far from pleasant, but it was the best thing he could've asked for at that moment. he pulled away as quickly as he arrived, choosing to bury himself into the crook of bruce's neck instead.</p><p>the bat's arms came around him, encasing him in an embrace. he felt the man struggling to take breaths. if there was one thing that the joker wouldn't do right now, it was look at him. gut-wrenching laughs found their way out of the clown's chest, becoming more hysterical by the second.</p><p>he felt lips on his forehead, doing their best to calm him. and only barely a split second after, he listened to the rumble in the man's chest as it took one final breath. one, painful, heartbreaking gasp. and with that, the clown unravelled.</p><p>he pulled from the man, a certain numbness taking over for the time being. and felt for a pulse, anything, any sign of the man. but as quickly as the man came into his life, he'd come out.</p><p>fingers twisted into the joker's hair, and it took far too long for him to realise that they were his own. he only pulled, his head collapsing against the ground in anguish.</p><p>the clown turned to face the ceiling, a sick smile pulling across his face in response. and in the next second, it was gone. replacing the silence of the heavy air with a thunderous, excruciating scream. every emotion the joker had ever felt, all released into one noise. his throat burned, but he didn't care. all of his air was released in the motion, and an overwhelming pain came over him.</p><p>the man only continued to scream, pounding his head against the ground, priding himself on the puddle of blood that came from a growing wound on his head. and he didn't stop until it all went dark.</p><p>——————————————————————————</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. the day that the clown died.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>the continuation!! like i said, the ending is completely up to you. these ideas came along just as i wrote. so i'm not 100% sure that they all make sense. excuse any spelling errors, i'm lazy okay.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>enjoy!! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>when the joker woke again, the room was pitch black. but he knew that he wasn't alone. he still felt / it's / presence. the sight that he would take it all back to never see again. he had a splitting headache, quite unlike a pain he'd ever felt before. but it was nothing compared to the crack in his heart.</p><p>the clown fiddled with his pockets, pulling a lighter out so that he didn't trip. before he could think of what he was doing, he latched onto the bat's gauntlet, doing his best to not let his gaze fall on the corpse that would haunt him for the rest of his days.</p><p>                    ” heh. bats, you really need to sort out your contacts. this is just / messy / !  ”</p><p>he laughed to himself, his usual maniacal cackle coming out much more broken than he would've liked. when he reached the name he was searching for, he only hesitated for a second. a sick mental debate took place in his head, before ultimately clicking the call option.</p><p> </p><p>                 ”  batman? oh— thank god. when you went radio silent.. i mean, shit— i thought the worst. thought that maniac might've finally gotten to you. where are you? i'll come right now—  ”</p><p>if it were any other day, perhaps joker would've spared a laugh. might've told gordon that he was too hung up on his job, and he definitely needs a vacation. but it wasn't any other day. today, was the day the clown cried.</p><p>              ” hiya, jimbo. ”</p><p>he started, fiddling with his thumbs as he thought of how to approach this situation.</p><p>              ” joker? oh— i swear to / god / if you've hurt him, i will rip your damn LUNGS OUT!  ”</p><p>the clown almost allowed rage to take over, as it seemed just / too easy / to tell gordon off. instead, he chose to take a deep breath, numbness taking over his features once again, and his mind went to a less comforting blank than he would've liked.</p><p>          ” save it, i don't need this speech from you of all people, right now, boy scout. just get to the damn building behind the observatory / now / . and come alone.  ”</p><p>he snapped, his hand clenching into a fist, his nails driving into his palm almost hard enough to draw blood. when the man on the other line didn't respond, he let his head hang slightly.</p><p>         ” please. ”</p><p>he added, his voice coming out unfamiliar and hoarse. far from what joker would've liked, that's for sure. but right now, when it took everything in him not to turn back to the cold figure behind him, he could care less about the persona.</p><p>         ” okay, okay. but if this is a trick, you bastard, i'll kill you myself. i don't care about what batman says, you're DEAD, you hear me?  “</p><p>the clown only spared a mute chuckle in response, hanging up as quickly as he'd called. he stumbled as he stood up, attempting to find the light switch. when he found it, the sudden brightness made him flinch, in the slightest. specifically when he noticed his blood-coated hands. he was rather used to the sight, at this point. but not when it was / his / blood. not like this.</p><p>the bat sat in a puddle of his own blood, his face in a frightfully calm expression. almost as if he were at peace. what a load of bullshit. the clown stepped towards him, reluctantly, to grasp the cowl. he took a shuddering breath in, and laid his forehead against it.</p><p>he was broken out of the comfortable silence of the room by a clattering downstairs. he let out a light groan, and crouched to place the cowl back on bruce's head, even if it broke him to do it. maybe it's not what the man would've wanted. maybe he wanted them all to know who he was, now. but he never knew bruce. not like he knew bats, anyhow.</p><p>or perhaps he knew bruce better than anyone else. he knew him the moment he laid eyes on him. but that doesn't mean the world knew him. it would've shocked him if gordon hadn't known bruce was batman. gordon, of all people. but he didn't want to risk finding out, for bruce's sake.</p><p> </p><p>               “  joker? where are you, you son of a bitch?  ”</p><p>a voice called, and the clown took a momentary pause, collecting himself. the last thing he wanted to do was break down in front of jim—fucking—gordon.</p><p>             ” up here, gordo! ”</p><p>he called back, sitting back in a chair, his gaze trained on the ceiling so he didn't have to look at the body any longer. he was sure that gordon would see his tear-stained cheeks. he would notice that he was falling apart, only to be held up by one singular stitch.</p><p>the clown twisted fingers into his hair, his head falling as he sat wrapped around himself. shaking in the slightest, he refused to look up at footsteps approached the small room. just like he refused to look up when he heard the pain in the commissioner's voice. the joker rocked himself back and forth on the small chair, his eyes unfocused and his gaze hazy. </p><p>           ”  what happened.  ”</p><p>jim hissed, and the clown felt his eyes burning into his back. he let out a pitiful laugh, shaking his head in the process.</p><p>          ”  it wasn't supposed to go like this, you know? we were supposed to be together forever. and this, sure as hell doesn't look like forever!   “</p><p>he only flinched as the man stepped towards him with purpose, yanking his hair to force eye contact. he almost allowed a sadistic smile to tug across his face at the pure fury burned onto his features.</p><p>           ”  you know, this a rather personal matter, jimbo. “ the clown paused in his words, thinking carefully about how to approach this. “  we were having a bit of fun, as we usually do, couple of punches here and there. and i pulled out my knife. and it... “</p><p>he refused to keep going from that point on, yanking his head out of the commissioner's grasp, hot tears burning down his face. a sickening howl buried in his chest. he stood up, suddenly, turning to jim. beyond all the rage, he could see a bit of confusion in the commissioner's eyes, as well as a small bit of pity, hidden far better than the confusion.</p><p>       “ alright, okay- listen. i need you to do something for me, okay?  “</p><p>the clown narrowed his eyes at the man, but before he allowed his temper to take over, he simply nodded. he didn’t have to do anything for jim gordon. but he did anyway. perhaps it was because they had a mutual understanding. the two of them would have done anything for the man before them, even it it was for two entirely different reasons. </p><p> </p><p>       “ okay, okay. “ gordon paused to take a breath, clearly holding himself together better than the joker was. “ i need you to grab his front half, and i’ll grab the other. we’ll carry him out ourselves. “ he continued, nodding at the clown. </p><p>the joker prepared himself for what was coming. he didn’t plan on touching the man’s body ever again. truth be told, he never wanted to see it again. but now, he had no choice. he caressed the cheek of the cowl, pulling the corpse up with all of his weight. on the other side, gordon seemed to be struggling just as much as he. the two took deep breaths, and stepped out of the room with it.</p><p>___________________________________________________________________________</p><p> </p><p>it had been a while since the joker had seen the unsettling glow of police car lights. he sat on the sidewalk, holding his own hands together. it was a slight shock to him that he wasn’t in restraints yet. if it were any other day, he would be in the batmobile, doing whatever he could to annoy the bat. even if it meant singing 80’s pop as loud as he could. already on his way to arkham. sometimes he could get the bat to crack. maybe spare a small smile, if he worked hard enough. and joker was sure that even if he barely saw it, bruce’s smile was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. but now he knew one thing, he sure as hell wasn’t going to see it ever again.</p><p>his eyes were unfocused, too caught up in the cacophony of his head to hear someone calling for him. he only looked up when something hit him lightly in the shoulder. he looked up with narrowed eyes, prepared to tell whoever it was off, until he was met with the kind eyes of an old soul. </p><p>                         “so. you’re.. alfred. right?” he questioned, all malicious intent gone for the time being. the old man only nodded in response. he nodded back, his gaze falling back to the blinking hum of the cop lights. </p><p>he didn’t bother any conversation. either way, he wasn’t sure what he’d say. ‘hey, i’m sorry i killed your kid. but if it helps, i was in love with him!’ no, no that wasn’t smart. so, uncomfortable silence it is, then. he flinched when a hand was placed upon his shoulder. his brows furrowed when he looked back at the old man. </p><p>                          “you know that he loved you, yes? shocked me a good bit. but he did. i tried to talk him out of it, even tried to get selina to talk some sense into him. but he wouldn’t listen. and i know you did too, in your own way. i am truly sorry that it ended like this. even if you are.. the one to blame, i don’t particularly believe this is your fault. there, i came to say what i needed to. now i am off. i wish you the best of luck, mr. j. i hope someone else could see the potential in you, as bruce could.” </p><p>and with that, the butler was off. he didn’t even spare a glance as he left, quickly entering a vehicle and leaving the premises. he barely had time to collect himself and take in all the information that was just left with him, before gordon found his way over. </p><p>                         “listen, i don’t want to know what the hell your relationship was with batman. i really don’t. but i really hope you get the help you need in there, joker. and i sure as hell hope i never see you again.” </p><p>the man nodded, stepping towards the commissioner when he was presented with handcuffs. when he felt the familiar clink of metal around his arm, he almost allowed his mind to wander, and think about how many times he was in the same dance with bruce. and even though he longed to feel the anticipation he once did, he would never look for a new dance partner.</p><p>the next few minutes passed as a blur, as there was no need to pay attention to his surroundings. back to arkham, he goes. as per usual. only this time, there was no bat to meet him whenever he escaped. not that there ever was, but it was only a matter of time before he arrived. he was sure that now that bruce was gone, one of the robins would step up. become the new hero of gotham. perhaps that’s the main reason why he never wanted to leave arkham as the clown again. because, deep down, he knew he would kill whoever it was the moment he saw them.</p><p> </p><p>as an officer pulled the man roughly back into the gates of arkham asylum, his head hung low. by now, he would’ve been loudly cheering to batman, blowing kisses. going about on his usual charade. but now, there was just silence. he made no attempt to acknowledge anyone. when he was back inside the halls of gotham, with the familiar hum of the lights, the realization that this might be his home from now on kicked in. there was no more breaking out every other day, or big riots just to cause a scene. if only bruce knew how dull his life was without him. he kept his gaze trained on the floor, as to avoid all of the gotham rogues scattered about the place. none of them particularly liked him, but he didn’t want to see how they felt about the fact that he killed ‘the bat.’ </p><p>the joker was hauled to a stop in front of a doctor. it wasn’t someone he recognized. that alone was shocking. he practically knew this place in and out by now, and yet here was an unfamiliar face. perhaps that’s what the doctor thought of him too. perhaps they didn’t see the ‘jester of genocide’ or the ‘clown prince of crime’. perhaps in their eyes, he was just a stranger as well. god, that was a weird feeling.</p><p> </p><p>                                        “hello, sir. may i ask what your name is?” the man asked, inquisitively, his eyes raking over the joker with wide eyes.</p><p> </p><p>a part of him almost missed doctor leland. maybe he could see her, instead. she always listened. well, most of the time. it came as a bit of a shock to him that the man hadn’t recognised him in the slightest. after all, he was ‘the joker’. he thought of himself as the most well-known villain in all of gotham. but the thought was almost refreshing. the man took a breath before answering, his brow furrowing in thought.</p><p>                                        “jack. my name is jack napier.” he admitted, using a name he hadn’t heard in quite a long time. he was sure that the other inmates heard him, because the room only seemed to get more silent.</p><p> </p><p>the doctor nodded, smiling innocently. he gave jack a small thumbs up, signalling him to follow his movements. in truth, ‘jack’ was a bit confused on why he didn’t simply just give him one of his many titles. it could’ve been as simple as that. but something about it just didn’t feel right. not like it used to, anyhow. but that wasn’t exactly shocking. a part of him died alongside bruce. it only took until now for him to realise, which part that was. it was simple, really. something he should’ve seen sooner. he didn’t lie when he said that batman and the joker were destined to be together. they were meant to be eternity, and now jack was left with the ashes of a fool who jumped too far in the fire. a fool who let himself get burned because of love. he would always love bruce. there was no doubt about that. a part of him would always live inside him. but not the clown. because today, was the day that the clown died.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>okay!! there's that.... no idea what i just wrote. i know that alfred might seem ooc, but. yk. i just said whatever. and dealt with it.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'll be uploading a ?? second part ?? this part is sort of up to interpretation. if you want to believe that joker died beside the love of his life, i'm not stopping you. but i / did / write a continuation, which will be uploaded when finished. i suggest reading both, either way, but it's truly up to how the reader would like to read into it!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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